








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 356 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3498 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,118 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4039 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2556 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3483 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3040 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,679,497 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | RespawN | 47% | 30 |
| #9 | -NyKo- | 46% | 48 |
| #10 | blt | 46% | 81 |
| #11 | Ar3x | 43% | 42 |
| #12 | DerPrytz | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ezeth | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Neto | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | RespawN | 4 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Ess | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | ♕ turtle | 2 | 0.0005 |





