








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 642 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 523 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Esplay | 16 matches | 1,912 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6969 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,134 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9114 | 28% |
| Smokes | 8661 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7737 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6622 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,172,611 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 352 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ar3x | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | Steiro | 50% | 207 |
| #5 | -NyKo- | 47% | 47 |
| #6 | Neto | 46% | 37 |
| #7 | blt | 44% | 39 |





