








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 624 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 681 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7572 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,974 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3425 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5129 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6042 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4378 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,432,540 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 169 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Demi-baguette | 50% | 396 |
| #2 | Sharkhi | 49% | 83 |
| #3 | Meeskuzh | 46% | 267 |
| #4 | Aligator | 44% | 81 |
| #5 | Danavans | 43% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Demi-baguette | 50% | 396 |
| #2 | Sharkhi | 49% | 83 |
| #3 | Meeskuzh | 46% | 267 |
| #4 | Aligator | 44% | 81 |
| #5 | Danavans | 43% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Demi-baguette | 28 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Meeskuzh | 13 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Aligator | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Sharkhi | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Danavans | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Demi-baguette | 1219 | 0.14 | 38 min |
| #2 | Meeskuzh | 664 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #3 | Sharkhi | 358 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #4 | Aligator | 100 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Danavans | 17 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sharkhi | +1.63 | 55 | 65 |
| #2 | Aligator | +0.62 | 23 | 64 |
| #3 | Demi-baguette | +0.39 | 42 | 72 |
| #4 | Malotipo | -0.08 | 68 | 54 |
| #5 | Meeskuzh | -0.31 | 69 | 70 |





