








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 493 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1082 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,189 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1097 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1000 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1223 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 869 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $276,629 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Demon | 70% | 77 |
| #2 | Puxque | 69% | 55 |
| #3 | JDOUWE | 68% | 37 |
| #4 | MrSkiev | 64% | 39 |
| #5 | Taeseth | 64% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Demon | 70% | 77 |
| #2 | Puxque | 69% | 55 |
| #3 | JDOUWE | 68% | 37 |
| #4 | MrSkiev | 64% | 39 |
| #5 | Taeseth | 64% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Demon | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Puxque | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Taeseth | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | MrSkiev | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | JDOUWE | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Demon | 463 | 0.29 | 13 min |
| #2 | Taeseth | 147 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | JDOUWE | 147 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | MrSkiev | 66 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Puxque | 7 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JDOUWE | +3.38 | 91 | 53 |
| #2 | Demon | +3.13 | 69 | 70 |
| #3 | Taeseth | +1.92 | 67 | 56 |
| #4 | WHIS | +1.71 | 73 | 56 |
| #5 | MrSkiev | +0.36 | 64 | 48 |





