








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 182 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
651 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,270 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 203 | 16% |
| Smokes | 493 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 278 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 296 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $114,321 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herbert_Manager | 42% | 38 |
| #2 | DÄR RÄNTNÄR | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | MNK ツ | 39% | 23 |
| #4 | wad is | 36% | 39 |
| #5 | SteH@n war´s | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | DÄR RÄNTNÄR | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | MNK ツ | 39% | 23 |
| #4 | wad is | 36% | 39 |
| #5 | SteH@n war´s | 36% | 14 |
| #6 | exituz | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herbert_Manager | 7 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | wad is | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | MNK ツ | 3 | 0.0127 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herbert_Manager | 67 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | MNK ツ | 30 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | wad is | 24 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | SteH@n war´s | 18 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | DÄR RÄNTNÄR | 6 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MNK ツ | +2.71 | 66 | 56 |
| #2 | DÄR RÄNTNÄR | +2.12 | 28 | 64 |
| #3 | Herbert_Manager | +0.86 | 69 | 68 |
| #4 | ρєωρєω | -0.43 | 69 | 49 |
| #5 | wad is | -0.75 | 45 | 42 |





