








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 882 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 508 matches | ||
| Faceit | 84 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,370 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8095 | 30% |
| Smokes | 8015 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5590 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5670 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,622,317 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 284 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BenitoThaGod | 58% | 79 |
| #2 | dee | 55% | 146 |
| #3 | sharkgeetee | 52% | 122 |
| #4 | dom | 51% | 201 |
| #5 | cH1ddy BaNg! | 50% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | dee | 55% | 146 |
| #3 | sharkgeetee | 52% | 122 |
| #4 | dom | 51% | 201 |
| #5 | cH1ddy BaNg! | 50% | 64 |
| #6 | ChocolateDaddy | 47% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sharkgeetee | 13 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | BenitoThaGod | 10 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | dom | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | dee | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | ChocolateDaddy | 4 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dom | 367 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #2 | sharkgeetee | 352 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | cH1ddy BaNg! | 110 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | dee | 107 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | ChocolateDaddy | 66 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cH1ddy BaNg! | +2.54 | 75 | 69 |
| #2 | sharkgeetee | +0.60 | 68 | 57 |
| #3 | Dϵn𝔦 | +0.33 | 43 | 64 |
| #4 | BenitoThaGod | -0.20 | 56 | 44 |
| #5 | dom | -0.33 | 62 | 67 |





