








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 862 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 272 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2178 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,203 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4098 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3694 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3759 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3652 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,264,728 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 180 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dale phukzalot | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | Gbat | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | HaVoC | 52% | 77 |
| #4 | nle | 49% | 73 |
| #5 | lui | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rapture | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Diggi | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Gbat | 3 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | dale phukzalot | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | HaVoC | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rapture | 309 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #2 | nle | 272 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | HaVoC | 171 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | sRn | 160 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Diggi | 157 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dale phukzalot | +2.42 | 62 | 76 |
| #2 | lui | +1.46 | 57 | 69 |
| #3 | rapture | +1.41 | 71 | 57 |
| #4 | Gbat | +0.97 | 66 | 72 |
| #5 | sRn | +0.55 | 56 | 67 |





