








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1412 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,784 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3302 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2754 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2494 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2234 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $615,122 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 572 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kohtujyrä | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | J0kii | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | anaalipora | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | somi | 55% | 31 |
| #5 | osku | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ICEberG | 15 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | anaalipora | 6 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | J0kii | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | osku | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | kohtujyrä | 2 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kohtujyrä | +5.77 | 93 | 63 |
| #2 | osku | +3.80 | 83 | 66 |
| #3 | J0kii | +3.56 | 88 | 68 |
| #4 | anaalipora | +2.57 | 72 | 69 |
| #5 | Jörge | +1.95 | 63 | 68 |





