








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1211 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,537 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 854 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1005 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 924 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 754 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $346,706 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 326 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geoff | 55% | 38 |
| #2 | ᄂӨЯD FΣDƧMӨKΣЯ | 53% | 110 |
| #3 | BigSad | 49% | 163 |
| #4 | DoodleBlob | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geoff | 55% | 38 |
| #2 | ᄂӨЯD FΣDƧMӨKΣЯ | 53% | 110 |
| #3 | BigSad | 49% | 163 |
| #4 | DoodleBlob | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigSad | 23 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | ᄂӨЯD FΣDƧMӨKΣЯ | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Geoff | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigSad | 782 | 0.23 | 18 min |
| #2 | ᄂӨЯD FΣDƧMӨKΣЯ | 405 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | Geoff | 82 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | DoodleBlob | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geoff | +6.22 | 81 | 55 |
| #2 | RewardingPie | -0.31 | 39 | 49 |
| #3 | ᄂӨЯD FΣDƧMӨKΣЯ | -0.51 | 54 | 59 |
| #4 | BigSad | -0.55 | 43 | 56 |
| #5 | DoodleBlob | -1.64 | 41 | 67 |





