








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 260 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 273 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3950 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,257 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1659 | 14% |
| Smokes | 4280 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 4253 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2065 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,682,930 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 295 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aider | 59% | 32 |
| #2 | Monte | 57% | 90 |
| #3 | mARie | 54% | 85 |
| #4 | PaultheCrate | 53% | 64 |
| #5 | Meladdiction | 53% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Night Fox | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Little Red Bull | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Monte | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Meladdiction | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | mARie | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Little Red Bull | 534 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #2 | Meladdiction | 267 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | candiN | 181 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | mARie | 166 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | ShadoVV9 | 131 | 0.06 | 4 min |





