








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 478 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1593 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,610 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1544 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1476 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1291 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1299 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $342,668 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | webe | 50% | 8 |
| #15 | exi | 50% | 10 |
| #16 | Penno | 50% | 34 |
| #17 | hanipöö | 50% | 36 |
| #18 | nagget | 50% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oopee | 4 | 0.0179 |
| #2 | Penno | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | nagget | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Paksukiisu :3 | 2 | 0.0110 |
| #5 | webe | 2 | 0.0118 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nagget | 184 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | Penno | 168 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #3 | hanipöö | 161 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #4 | Jutiliti | 90 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Paksupöö | 76 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | discobatman | +3.72 | 59 | 86 |
| #2 | LA-Z RIDER | +2.18 | 81 | 71 |
| #3 | hanipöö | +2.07 | 66 | 84 |
| #4 | condiss :)) | +1.43 | 89 | 60 |
| #5 | nagget | +0.65 | 64 | 69 |





