








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1088 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,843 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 867 | 23% |
| Smokes | 972 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1187 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 817 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $386,529 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | jeyz | 44% | 45 |
| #13 | Antidote | 40% | 15 |
| #14 | ale | 38% | 16 |
| #15 | Peruna | 33% | 9 |
| #16 | PoppisKone | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nagget | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | hanipöö | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | exi | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | heba | 2 | 0.0101 |
| #5 | Paksupöö | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nagget | 285 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | hanipöö | 238 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #3 | jeyz | 138 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | -downfall | 115 | 0.33 | 3 min |
| #5 | exi | 101 | 0.18 | 3 min |





