








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 973 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 333 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4515 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,986 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2069 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3595 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3553 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2769 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,237,730 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1008 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pingu - | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | LULSIK | 62% | 65 |
| #3 | juskA | 61% | 66 |
| #4 | ᴊᴊ | 57% | 87 |
| #5 | inzider | 56% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ᴊᴊ | 57% | 87 |
| #5 | inzider | 56% | 146 |
| #6 | ummi | 55% | 135 |
| #7 | Leporn | 54% | 118 |
| #8 | Apelsin | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leporn | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | ummi | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | inzider | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | juskA | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | pingu - | 2 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | inzider | 434 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | juskA | 334 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #3 | ummi | 284 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Leporn | 233 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | LULSIK | 153 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juskA | +3.58 | 83 | 75 |
| #2 | ᴊᴊ | +2.43 | 87 | 61 |
| #3 | swag god 15 ? | +1.90 | 81 | 60 |
| #4 | pingu - | +0.22 | 74 | 76 |
| #5 | inzider | -0.06 | 75 | 68 |





