








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 669 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 152 matches | 1,823 | |
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2078 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,144 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2632 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2808 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2966 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1738 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,516,270 of utility $238 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 274 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sajalol | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | takemetovalhalla | 56% | 103 |
| #3 | Island-MAn | 48% | 120 |
| #4 | qqqqq | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | thor | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | takemetovalhalla | 350 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | Island-MAn | 241 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | FKSHOTSV3NOM | 226 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | Fjaspeis | 193 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | qqqqq | 91 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | takemetovalhalla | +3.57 | 69 | 77 |
| #2 | Sajalol | +2.43 | 90 | 61 |
| #3 | Fjaspeis | +2.19 | 86 | 64 |
| #4 | Island-MAn | +1.36 | 62 | 57 |
| #5 | thor | +1.32 | 88 | 70 |





