








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 269 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2439 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,528 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 822 | 11% |
| Smokes | 2351 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2799 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1556 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,050,005 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pza1ko | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | fln | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | prey | 52% | 90 |
| #4 | JeNnY | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | MissMil4 | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | SCHNEE | 44% | 327 |
| #11 | ∼*∼pyro∼*∼ | 44% | 25 |
| #12 | sTu | 42% | 24 |
| #13 | osirisbash | 39% | 31 |
| #14 | insi | 28% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SCHNEE | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | GERDES | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | prey | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | LegendeNN | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | SenseiSai☯ | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SCHNEE | 1350 | 0.20 | 38 min |
| #2 | GERDES | 647 | 0.22 | 18 min |
| #3 | prey | 270 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | SenseiSai☯ | 140 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | MissMil4 | 134 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SCHNEE | +2.76 | 84 | 67 |
| #2 | LegendeNN | +2.19 | 83 | 73 |
| #3 | GERDES | +0.67 | 68 | 79 |
| #4 | prey | +0.51 | 64 | 68 |
| #5 | SenseiSai☯ | +0.22 | 72 | 61 |





