








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 453 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 257 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3241 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5234 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4927 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4379 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3797 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,088,047 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 131 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eggsecutart | 63% | 46 |
| #2 | Sacdaddy | 59% | 37 |
| #3 | GreenLight™ | 57% | 92 |
| #4 | joony | 55% | 253 |
| #5 | pew pew | 52% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | pew pew | 52% | 44 |
| #6 | po | 52% | 171 |
| #7 | KuRrUpT | 48% | 21 |
| #8 | Exit | 47% | 36 |
| #9 | Monday | 47% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joony | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Monday | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | po | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Sacdaddy | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | GreenLight™ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joony | 321 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #2 | po | 234 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | Monday | 214 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Eggsecutart | 150 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | GreenLight™ | 114 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eggsecutart | +1.50 | 64 | 61 |
| #2 | joony | +1.31 | 55 | 62 |
| #3 | g0s7aR | +1.08 | 72 | 81 |
| #4 | Monday | +0.64 | 65 | 70 |
| #5 | GreenLight™ | +0.23 | 61 | 61 |





