








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 484 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Esplay | 15 matches | 1,739 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2436 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2730 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2024 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2180 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1177 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $678,026 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jocke | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | Majs | 68% | 25 |
| #3 | SoffaN -L- | 63% | 35 |
| #4 | JRD | 54% | 52 |
| #5 | Smooth Kremlinal | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jocke | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | Majs | 68% | 25 |
| #3 | SoffaN -L- | 63% | 35 |
| #4 | JRD | 54% | 52 |
| #5 | Smooth Kremlinal | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smooth Kremlinal | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Majs | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | JRD | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | SoffaN -L- | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smooth Kremlinal | 108 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | SoffaN -L- | 47 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | JRD | 32 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Majs | 22 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jocke | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SoffaN -L- | +2.79 | 89 | 60 |
| #2 | putte | +1.99 | 76 | 68 |
| #3 | Majs | +1.01 | 68 | 49 |
| #4 | Jocke | -1.12 | 61 | 31 |
| #5 | JRD | -3.86 | 36 | 44 |





