








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1178 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,670 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1998 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1694 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 804 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1174 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $224,159 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jerekka | 54% | 71 |
| #2 | SpuDe | 53% | 51 |
| #3 | antsaJ | 53% | 57 |
| #4 | deadlock | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | masqutti | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Chefla | 41% | 17 |
| #13 | RakeBoi | 38% | 8 |
| #14 | falalalan | 35% | 17 |
| #15 | hedu mestari | 33% | 9 |
| #16 | Lasu | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | antsaJ | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | YOUNG BOSS | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Jerekka | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Lasu | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | SpuDe | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YOUNG BOSS | 271 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | deadlock | 215 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #3 | Tyyne Boostinen | 129 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | antsaJ | 124 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | SpuDe | 108 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YOUNG BOSS | +2.47 | 82 | 76 |
| #2 | röpöcop | +1.73 | 66 | 75 |
| #3 | Jerekka | +1.43 | 74 | 60 |
| #4 | are | +0.65 | 76 | 72 |
| #5 | SpuDe | +0.27 | 64 | 69 |





