








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
508 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,956 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 598 | 31% |
| Smokes | 530 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 397 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 431 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $78,960 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kobatz | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Whiteboylass | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | Haze | 100% | 2 |
| #4 | CatChucker44 | 100% | 2 |
| #5 | XD | 100% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thinkfast | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | MikSay! | 1 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | hehe xd | 1 | 0.0112 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whiteboylass | +8.23 | 54 | 77 |
| #2 | Kobatz | +4.43 | 70 | 77 |
| #3 | Veteran | +3.55 | 89 | 81 |
| #4 | XD | +2.89 | 84 | 88 |
| #5 | Egelund | +1.39 | 86 | 68 |





