








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 527 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 396 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5116 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,260 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9669 | 32% |
| Smokes | 7347 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8364 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4880 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $991,282 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Meekaf | 52% | 124 |
| #6 | tuukka ritokoski | 51% | 59 |
| #7 | Koeda | 50% | 142 |
| #8 | Obsi | 49% | 95 |
| #9 | andy | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koeda | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Meekaf | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Obsi | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | beetor- | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | andy | 4 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EEMiMBA | 234 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #2 | beetor- | 211 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | tuukka ritokoski | 157 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Obsi | 145 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | andy | 128 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UhmEddz #Sauna | +1.22 | 69 | 79 |
| #2 | beetor- | +0.96 | 76 | 60 |
| #3 | tuukka ritokoski | +0.36 | 57 | 66 |
| #4 | Koeda | -0.24 | 36 | 42 |
| #5 | EEMiMBA | -0.69 | 64 | 78 |





