








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 934 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 345 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 74 matches | ||
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6225 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,598 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7108 | 27% |
| Smokes | 8318 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5350 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5822 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,064,589 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2796 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John Floyd | 60% | 82 |
| #2 | โก ๏ผบ๏ฝ
๏ฝ๏ฝ โก | 58% | 108 |
| #3 | akAWE | 56% | 81 |
| #4 | Pronto | 53% | 145 |
| #5 | mj | 49% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John Floyd | 60% | 82 |
| #2 | โก ๏ผบ๏ฝ
๏ฝ๏ฝ โก | 58% | 108 |
| #3 | akAWE | 56% | 81 |
| #4 | Pronto | 53% | 145 |
| #5 | mj | 49% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John Floyd | 21 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | Pronto | 20 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | mj | 18 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | โก ๏ผบ๏ฝ
๏ฝ๏ฝ โก | 14 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | akAWE | 7 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pronto | 475 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | โก ๏ผบ๏ฝ
๏ฝ๏ฝ โก | 454 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #3 | John Floyd | 284 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | akAWE | 164 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | mj | 138 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | โก ๏ผบ๏ฝ
๏ฝ๏ฝ โก | +5.33 | 85 | 74 |
| #2 | John Floyd | +4.86 | 82 | 70 |
| #3 | Pronto | +2.94 | 84 | 56 |
| #4 | thec | +0.22 | 63 | 63 |
| #5 | mj | -0.03 | 66 | 49 |





