








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,828 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2154 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3049 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2020 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1605 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,581,686 of utility $247 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flyt | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Ty | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Chip | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Rick | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | ìndeƒinite√∞☣ | 1 | 0.0016 |





