








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 279 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4634 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,565 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5860 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3985 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4139 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3581 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $308,180 of utility $38 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 268 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nut nut | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | メ | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | TBB ★ Sabss | 54% | 113 |
| #4 | sebastian | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | 3•10⁸m/s | 44% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nut nut | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | メ | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | TBB ★ Sabss | 54% | 113 |
| #4 | sebastian | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | 3•10⁸m/s | 44% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3•10⁸m/s | 22 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | sebastian | 6 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | nut nut | 4 | 0.0087 |
| #4 | TBB ★ Sabss | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | メ | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3•10⁸m/s | 419 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | TBB ★ Sabss | 174 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | sebastian | 87 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | メ | 54 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | nut nut | 45 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JOM0 ッ | +3.06 | 84 | 71 |
| #2 | メ | +0.74 | 66 | 59 |
| #3 | nut nut | -0.09 | 21 | 75 |
| #4 | sebastian | -0.38 | 54 | 59 |
| #5 | 3•10⁸m/s | -1.34 | 61 | 66 |





