








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 432 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1930 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,731 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1841 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2010 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1887 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1993 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $878,152 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 337 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaQUinHo | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | Pirata SJP | 72% | 32 |
| #3 | maX ;D | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | JaCOzeRa | 53% | 115 |
| #5 | Paizão ×͜ × | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | S4L4M3 | 42% | 45 |
| #15 | puromatsu | 36% | 14 |
| #16 | @checkmate_music_oficial | 30% | 30 |
| #17 | Xenon | 27% | 41 |
| #18 | gaRdz | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaCOzeRa | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | S4L4M3 | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Papai Smurf | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | maX ;D | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Capetao Planeta | 3 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaCOzeRa | 301 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Porca Veia | 131 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | γɒɿɘb | 116 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Capetao Planeta | 86 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Xenon | 75 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | γɒɿɘb | +1.97 | 75 | 70 |
| #2 | JaQUinHo | +1.92 | 41 | 77 |
| #3 | 乂卂丨 | +1.73 | 58 | 65 |
| #4 | Papai Smurf | +0.90 | 75 | 60 |
| #5 | Paizão ×͜ × | +0.66 | 70 | 56 |





