








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1332 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,672 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1535 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2579 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1778 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1780 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $758,713 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tuomas | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | PotentPotable | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | Squirrely Dan | 54% | 52 |
| #4 | Lacos | 54% | 99 |
| #5 | Nebacanezer | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lacos | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | x-rey | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | DrAwpenheimer | 4 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | JordaN | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | BiRD | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JordaN | 266 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Squirrely Dan | 183 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | x-rey | 164 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Lacos | 124 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | tuomas | 117 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squirrely Dan | +4.73 | 81 | 73 |
| #2 | tuomas | +2.92 | 81 | 64 |
| #3 | JordaN | +1.99 | 73 | 63 |
| #4 | x-rey | +1.29 | 49 | 62 |
| #5 | Lacos | +0.52 | 64 | 58 |





