








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 996 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 394 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 154 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4832 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,610 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2973 | 13% |
| Smokes | 4296 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 8925 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 6416 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,456,109 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 243 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimmy Rozz Kush Rasmussen | 49% | 177 |
| #2 | Rostockan | 47% | 238 |
| #3 | MaDDoG | 46% | 46 |
| #4 | Hero.0 | 44% | 443 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimmy Rozz Kush Rasmussen | 49% | 177 |
| #2 | Rostockan | 47% | 238 |
| #3 | MaDDoG | 46% | 46 |
| #4 | Hero.0 | 44% | 443 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hero.0 | 11 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Jimmy Rozz Kush Rasmussen | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Rostockan | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | MaDDoG | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hero.0 | 711 | 0.08 | 19 min |
| #2 | Rostockan | 155 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #3 | MaDDoG | 150 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jimmy Rozz Kush Rasmussen | 148 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rostockan | +0.75 | 32 | 52 |
| #2 | Nephilim | +0.59 | 54 | 58 |
| #3 | MaDDoG | -0.34 | 63 | 66 |
| #4 | Jimmy Rozz Kush Rasmussen | -0.44 | 20 | 48 |
| #5 | Hero.0 | -1.92 | 25 | 66 |





