








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 952 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,226 | |
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 155 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3210 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,682 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4542 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4933 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6188 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5019 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,789,382 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 286 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dNa_ | 47% | 64 |
| #2 | Nephilim | 44% | 443 |
| #3 | Rostockan | 43% | 95 |
| #4 | Jimmy Rozz Kush Rasmussen | 42% | 60 |
| #5 | MaDDoG | 38% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dNa_ | 47% | 64 |
| #2 | Nephilim | 44% | 443 |
| #3 | Rostockan | 43% | 95 |
| #4 | Jimmy Rozz Kush Rasmussen | 42% | 60 |
| #5 | MaDDoG | 38% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nephilim | 13 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Rostockan | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Jimmy Rozz Kush Rasmussen | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | MaDDoG | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | dNa_ | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nephilim | 461 | 0.05 | 12 min |
| #2 | dNa_ | 228 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | MaDDoG | 217 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Rostockan | 62 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jimmy Rozz Kush Rasmussen | 40 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dNa_ | +1.77 | 66 | 80 |
| #2 | Rostockan | +0.94 | 33 | 49 |
| #3 | Nephilim | +0.89 | 59 | 59 |
| #4 | Jimmy Rozz Kush Rasmussen | -0.64 | 22 | 44 |
| #5 | MaDDoG | -1.03 | 61 | 61 |





