








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 432 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 380 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3674 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,473 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5364 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4939 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3811 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3359 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,266,041 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 280 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SquidZilla! | 49% | 334 |
| #2 | MayBeGoA | 43% | 37 |
| #3 | Juleulven | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SquidZilla! | 49% | 334 |
| #2 | MayBeGoA | 43% | 37 |
| #3 | Juleulven | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SquidZilla! | 12 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | MayBeGoA | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Juleulven | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SquidZilla! | 552 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #2 | MayBeGoA | 64 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Juleulven | 48 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MayBeGoA | +3.54 | 69 | 71 |
| #2 | Sou #Hashtag | +0.28 | 40 | 69 |
| #3 | SquidZilla! | -0.07 | 35 | 61 |
| #4 | Juleulven | -0.11 | 57 | 68 |





