








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1618 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,464 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 823 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1264 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1753 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1624 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $572,353 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mols Voldtagerdigovich | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | s!m ☂☂ | 69% | 39 |
| #3 | Ronk | 63% | 46 |
| #4 | SoronSR | 62% | 82 |
| #5 | Gammelsmølf | 62% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | UNE :-] | 55% | 55 |
| #8 | Froto | 54% | 133 |
| #9 | Genaupot | 54% | 54 |
| #10 | Rusthøvlen | 50% | 106 |
| #11 | Kongen af Kolding | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Froto | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | UNE :-] | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Rusthøvlen | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Ronk | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | SoronSR | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Froto | 355 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | SoronSR | 229 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | UNE :-] | 157 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Rusthøvlen | 155 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Ronk | 107 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mols Voldtagerdigovich | +4.67 | 80 | 73 |
| #2 | Genaupot | +1.97 | 83 | 67 |
| #3 | UNE :-] | +1.65 | 81 | 64 |
| #4 | fROSTY THE SNOWMAN | +0.76 | 70 | 63 |
| #5 | Froto | +0.19 | 60 | 70 |





