








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1287 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 848 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 124 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7974 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,454 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11981 | 31% |
| Smokes | 12521 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 9042 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4910 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,194,617 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1069 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jakichan(HS MACHINE!!!) | 55% | 130 |
| #2 | Vito | 52% | 514 |
| #3 | OXI | 52% | 116 |
| #4 | hot off the press pig | 50% | 290 |
| #5 | pAbLo | 49% | 311 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | achulma | 47% | 64 |
| #7 | Vulle | 46% | 50 |
| #8 | ✨SirenVixx✨ | 44% | 233 |
| #9 | mediumrarecookie | 40% | 48 |
| #10 | VergilCombo | 37% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vito | 22 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | hot off the press pig | 13 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Jakichan(HS MACHINE!!!) | 13 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | pAbLo | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | ✨SirenVixx✨ | 5 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vito | 2365 | 0.22 | 61 min |
| #2 | hot off the press pig | 755 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #3 | pAbLo | 501 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #4 | OXI | 249 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Jakichan(HS MACHINE!!!) | 219 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | achulma | +3.01 | 57 | 71 |
| #2 | Jakichan(HS MACHINE!!!) | +2.46 | 67 | 55 |
| #3 | Vito | +2.07 | 32 | 74 |
| #4 | Vulle | +1.49 | 75 | 39 |
| #5 | OXI | +0.27 | 55 | 54 |





