








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 350 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 161 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2488 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1889 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2696 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3472 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2166 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $870,613 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 177 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fieldbishop | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | Kiema | 50% | 52 |
| #3 | The_Jackass | 44% | 81 |
| #4 | RacerX | 44% | 32 |
| #5 | Jesus | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fieldbishop | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | Kiema | 50% | 52 |
| #3 | The_Jackass | 44% | 81 |
| #4 | RacerX | 44% | 32 |
| #5 | Jesus | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The_Jackass | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Kiema | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Fieldbishop | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Jesus | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiema | 258 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #2 | The_Jackass | 220 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | RacerX | 113 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Fieldbishop | 60 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jesus | 21 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fieldbishop | +4.91 | 71 | 79 |
| #2 | RacerX | +2.57 | 71 | 69 |
| #3 | Kalle c"_,) | +0.51 | 50 | 72 |
| #4 | Kiema | -0.07 | 58 | 63 |
| #5 | Jesus | -2.77 | 33 | 54 |





