








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 929 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 69 matches | 2,194 | |
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1777 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,283 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2933 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2166 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2310 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1874 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $618,742 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twwwwaan | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | adn | 76% | 25 |
| #3 | shdws | 73% | 26 |
| #4 | Alejuandroo | 56% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twwwwaan | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | adn | 76% | 25 |
| #3 | shdws | 73% | 26 |
| #4 | Alejuandroo | 56% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alejuandroo | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alejuandroo | 447 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | shdws | 118 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | twwwwaan | 69 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #4 | adn | 64 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | adn | +2.60 | 81 | 73 |
| #2 | shdws | +2.28 | 86 | 74 |
| #3 | twwwwaan | +1.35 | 76 | 61 |
| #4 | TX ASS | +0.81 | 50 | 82 |
| #5 | Alejuandroo | +0.34 | 63 | 71 |





