








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1373 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,991 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1792 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2380 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 678 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 2141 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $776,421 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h0lly ' | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | SpiderMen | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Anukah | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Chross | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Phnx | 2 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gigelicious | 174 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #2 | Anukah | 131 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | AvId | 82 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | h0lly ' | 81 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Chross | 65 | 0.09 | 2 min |





