








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 278 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1276 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,013 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2482 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2410 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2492 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1629 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $232,439 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 306 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s!lver | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | etny | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | Dogtor | 67% | 78 |
| #4 | MulleMullemuuu. | 60% | 72 |
| #5 | Saari ♿♿ | 58% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w!cKeD | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | MulleMullemuuu. | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Saari ♿♿ | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | -siuuu- | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Dogtor | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MulleMullemuuu. | 165 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Saari ♿♿ | 132 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | Dogtor | 98 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | w!cKeD | 90 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | -siuuu- | 39 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dogtor | +2.43 | 66 | 63 |
| #2 | s!lver | +2.02 | 60 | 69 |
| #3 | MulleMullemuuu. | +1.71 | 59 | 73 |
| #4 | etny | +1.60 | 66 | 78 |
| #5 | Saari ♿♿ | +0.34 | 54 | 61 |





