








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1014 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 394 matches | ||
| Faceit | 105 matches | ||
| Wingman | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6233 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,031 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3055 | 13% |
| Smokes | 6069 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 9582 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 5325 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,177,574 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1262 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MulleMullemuuu. | 69% | 75 |
| #2 | BaSh1337 | 67% | 78 |
| #3 | Saari ♿♿ | 66% | 111 |
| #4 | w!cKeD | 65% | 71 |
| #5 | silvoi | 55% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Lubba | 50% | 46 |
| #11 | Sir Prise | 50% | 50 |
| #12 | 🐌 S L O W H A N D | 49% | 43 |
| #13 | mat | 48% | 114 |
| #14 | Edel_n00b | 40% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mat | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | . a l p A K e y | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | ma3xly | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | silvoi | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | MulleMullemuuu. | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | . a l p A K e y | 402 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | ⭕⃤★ Suk Ma Kuk | 345 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | BaSh1337 | 318 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | silvoi | 279 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | ma3xly | 167 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MulleMullemuuu. | +2.11 | 58 | 74 |
| #2 | Dogtor | +1.98 | 63 | 64 |
| #3 | Caffèe. | +1.46 | 76 | 59 |
| #4 | ⭕⃤★ Suk Ma Kuk | +1.38 | 79 | 70 |
| #5 | silvoi | +1.05 | 68 | 67 |





