








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
496 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,241 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 817 | 25% |
| Smokes | 935 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 728 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 761 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $216,564 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 163 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nemmeh | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | tr0lldermort | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Pman | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | The Dombox | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | levski | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | handyk1ng | 50% | 16 |
| #12 | ALLEJSTR | 50% | 62 |
| #13 | Fresh | 44% | 9 |
| #14 | ke3f | 33% | 9 |
| #15 | Realf1re | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ALLEJSTR | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | levski | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | gamer | 1 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Pman | 1 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | tr0lldermort | 1 | 0.0115 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ALLEJSTR | 255 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | levski | 104 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #3 | bernie | 48 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | mak10zo | 35 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | gamer | 32 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ALLEJSTR | +2.19 | 79 | 68 |
| #2 | The Dombox | +2.13 | 71 | 68 |
| #3 | levski | +1.15 | 59 | 75 |
| #4 | gamer | +1.09 | 68 | 75 |
| #5 | handyk1ng | +1.05 | 76 | 70 |





