








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 536 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3315 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,201 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4407 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5357 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3611 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2826 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $966,882 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 935 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ProLeps | 30 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Drift | 21 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | argybee | 11 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | Jaykae :) | 10 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Deselution | 9 | 0.0017 |





