








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
470 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,303 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 540 | 23% |
| Smokes | 527 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 577 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 659 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $180,453 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baamio | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | sankz | 100% | 6 |
| #3 | öge | 100% | 8 |
| #4 | Soikka | 89% | 9 |
| #5 | fee | 89% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | numba | 43% | 7 |
| #14 | Zeemzi | 39% | 23 |
| #15 | Mambo26 | 35% | 17 |
| #16 | Ekku | 25% | 4 |
| #17 | L | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fee | 1 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | tropex | 1 | 0.0172 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeemzi | 65 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Mambo26 | 60 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | fee | 54 | 0.33 | 1 min |
| #4 | nfr | 37 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kassu | 29 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sankz | +4.11 | 84 | 71 |
| #2 | tropex | +2.51 | 50 | 68 |
| #3 | fee | +2.46 | 78 | 81 |
| #4 | Mambo26 | +2.31 | 77 | 65 |
| #5 | aleksi4SHO | +2.22 | 86 | 74 |





