








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1026 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 936 matches | ||
| Faceit | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 97 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11009 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,657 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13317 | 36% |
| Smokes | 9108 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5757 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 8475 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,143,956 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1336 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deso | 56% | 111 |
| #2 | jwg | 55% | 78 |
| #3 | Emjay | 46% | 141 |
| #4 | Mastro | 45% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deso | 56% | 111 |
| #2 | jwg | 55% | 78 |
| #3 | Emjay | 46% | 141 |
| #4 | Mastro | 45% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mastro | 13 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | deso | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | jwg | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mastro | 549 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | deso | 380 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | Emjay | 342 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | jwg | 321 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jwg | +1.68 | 82 | 69 |
| #2 | Emjay | +0.76 | 80 | 78 |
| #3 | deso | +0.61 | 72 | 65 |
| #4 | 2Nasty | +0.60 | 73 | 62 |
| #5 | Mastro | +0.34 | 64 | 72 |





