








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 379 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 767 matches | ||
| Faceit | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 111 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7716 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,195 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7534 | 21% |
| Smokes | 8926 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 10552 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 8183 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,144,859 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vielekay | 63% | 62 |
| #2 | Nich | 56% | 84 |
| #3 | tomie | 54% | 61 |
| #4 | MUSTAAAAARD | 53% | 90 |
| #5 | ELLE | 53% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ELLE | 53% | 104 |
| #6 | Mcdull | 48% | 93 |
| #7 | 感谢 | 48% | 182 |
| #8 | xubstitute | 46% | 191 |
| #9 | BIGMOO! | 46% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ELLE | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | 感谢 | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Nich | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | xubstitute | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | BIGMOO! | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xubstitute | 648 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #2 | 感谢 | 440 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | vielekay | 225 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | Mcdull | 180 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | BIGMOO! | 169 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vielekay | +2.17 | 62 | 76 |
| #2 | xubstitute | +1.75 | 65 | 75 |
| #3 | Mcdull | +1.07 | 44 | 71 |
| #4 | ELLE | +0.71 | 67 | 52 |
| #5 | Nich | +0.56 | 71 | 65 |





