








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 442 matches | ||
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4776 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,697 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2706 | 16% |
| Smokes | 4885 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4951 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4155 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,337,435 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hani. ( ︶︿︶)_ ∩ | 56% | 55 |
| #2 | vielekay | 55% | 130 |
| #3 | ɐʎɐdɐd | 53% | 104 |
| #4 | Pleo | 51% | 106 |
| #5 | 感谢 | 50% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | tomie | 47% | 152 |
| #9 | MUSTAAAAARD | 47% | 160 |
| #10 | xubstitute | 44% | 314 |
| #11 | BIGMOO! | 42% | 55 |
| #12 | Hokkienmee | 38% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 感谢 | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Nich | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | MUSTAAAAARD | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Pleo | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | xubstitute | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xubstitute | 1047 | 0.16 | 34 min |
| #2 | Nich | 492 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #3 | vielekay | 489 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #4 | 感谢 | 446 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #5 | Pleo | 424 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vielekay | +2.38 | 68 | 76 |
| #2 | xubstitute | +1.28 | 62 | 75 |
| #3 | ELLE | +0.48 | 66 | 54 |
| #4 | MUSTAAAAARD | -0.20 | 68 | 55 |
| #5 | Mcdull | -0.32 | 39 | 69 |





