








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 256 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2715 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,154 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3547 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4310 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2859 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3438 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $384,078 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hasbulla Daddy❤ | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | ❤ ɳo<3 | 53% | 110 |
| #3 | Moto Moto | 51% | 130 |
| #4 | LYRECO | 50% | 107 |
| #5 | MC | 45% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Moto Moto | 51% | 130 |
| #4 | LYRECO | 50% | 107 |
| #5 | MC | 45% | 77 |
| #6 | BetterCallFlash | 42% | 33 |
| #7 | Frisch | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❤ ɳo<3 | 16 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | MC | 9 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Moto Moto | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | LYRECO | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | BetterCallFlash | 3 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MC | 234 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Moto Moto | 105 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | LYRECO | 75 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | BetterCallFlash | 74 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Frisch | 71 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moto Moto | +2.45 | 70 | 46 |
| #2 | Lance | +0.96 | 64 | 65 |
| #3 | Hasbulla Daddy❤ | +0.40 | 61 | 51 |
| #4 | MC | +0.32 | 52 | 64 |
| #5 | ❤ ɳo<3 | -0.42 | 47 | 24 |





