








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1152 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 449 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6085 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,738 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5589 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6648 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4542 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5959 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,073,664 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daco | 57% | 233 |
| #2 | Koo | 51% | 369 |
| #3 | marge | 51% | 529 |
| #4 | Nano | 51% | 582 |
| #5 | kalumuna | 49% | 292 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marge | 28 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Koo | 10 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Nano | 9 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | daco | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Zypher | 6 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marge | 1550 | 0.14 | 40 min |
| #2 | Koo | 1456 | 0.19 | 32 min |
| #3 | Nano | 882 | 0.07 | 23 min |
| #4 | Zypher | 860 | 0.27 | 28 min |
| #5 | daco | 626 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Viinis | +1.51 | 68 | 70 |
| #2 | Zypher | +1.20 | 75 | 80 |
| #3 | marge | +1.01 | 79 | 64 |
| #4 | daco | +0.15 | 52 | 65 |
| #5 | Nano | -1.04 | 64 | 58 |





