








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1049 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 250 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,596 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4533 | 21% |
| Smokes | 7376 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4550 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5137 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,088,962 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 726 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FIVE β’ ββxπEπNa | 864 | 0.14 | 22 min |
| #2 | π¬l β²aπ₯π€ | 484 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | ΠΊΟΞ·βΡ | 366 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #4 | h3ro | 344 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | FIVE β’ ΦΚβΚΙmββ’ | 246 | 0.07 | 6 min |





