








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 182 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1615 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,278 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1808 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1387 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1588 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1495 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $537,741 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saccubala | 56% | 54 |
| #2 | Chimzampé | 45% | 97 |
| #3 | Jaimene | 45% | 101 |
| #4 | Mbk | 40% | 58 |
| #5 | W.W. | 35% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jaimene | 45% | 101 |
| #4 | Mbk | 40% | 58 |
| #5 | W.W. | 35% | 68 |
| #6 | Ak' | 31% | 16 |
| #7 | umpa | 21% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaimene | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Chimzampé | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | W.W. | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Mbk | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Saccubala | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chimzampé | 510 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #2 | Jaimene | 446 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #3 | Mbk | 273 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | W.W. | 217 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | Saccubala | 165 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ak' | +3.28 | 85 | 66 |
| #2 | Jaimene | +0.29 | 60 | 64 |
| #3 | Chimzampé | +0.17 | 68 | 77 |
| #4 | gbr | +0.14 | 71 | 67 |
| #5 | Mbk | -0.29 | 64 | 63 |





