








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 19 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
210 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 642 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 166 | 26% |
| Smokes | 214 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 84 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 178 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $65,994 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | J4sminee | 57% | 7 |
| #8 | Timpy | 0% | 2 |
| #9 | hannula🙃 | 0% | 2 |
| #10 | berko | 0% | 4 |
| #11 | Svennberg | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robin.P | 83 | 0.33 | 3 min |
| #2 | J4sminee | 34 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | Svennberg | 28 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #4 | GAME | 20 | 0.33 | 1 min |
| #5 | berko | 11 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freeze | +3.32 | 66 | 47 |
| #2 | GAME | +2.59 | 78 | 84 |
| #3 | Dinked | +1.40 | 85 | 64 |
| #4 | bekszz | +1.39 | 82 | 63 |
| #5 | J4sminee | -1.23 | 65 | 53 |





