








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 558 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 200 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4891 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,453 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3371 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5044 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 5582 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1456 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,306,291 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dylo | 57% | 117 |
| #2 | fade#31 | 56% | 72 |
| #3 | Pardon | 49% | 140 |
| #4 | dryk | 47% | 100 |
| #5 | Akai' | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dylo | 15 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | dryk | 12 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Le Roi Lion | 11 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | kOdAr [8%] | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | fade#31 | 7 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dylo | +5.22 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | fade#31 | +4.92 | 75 | 75 |
| #3 | Pardon | +4.04 | 62 | 72 |
| #4 | Akai' | +3.05 | 73 | 59 |
| #5 | dryk | +2.63 | 80 | 71 |





