








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 323 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2816 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,406 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1974 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2742 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1982 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1708 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $878,217 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fade#31 | 59% | 49 |
| #2 | dryk | 54% | 57 |
| #3 | Pardon | 53% | 36 |
| #4 | Dylo | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | kOdAr [8%] | 49% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fade#31 | 9 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | Le Roi Lion | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | ℤ𝕡𝕏 | 7 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | kOdAr [8%] | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | 𝕄𝟛𝕏! | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HARDY | 458 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | Kr4m$* | 373 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #3 | dryk | 320 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #4 | NESS | 224 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | fade#31 | 201 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dylo | +5.58 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | fade#31 | +4.08 | 73 | 72 |
| #3 | dryk | +3.17 | 81 | 71 |
| #4 | NESS | +2.27 | 75 | 61 |
| #5 | Pardon | +1.98 | 48 | 69 |





