








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1454 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,890 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 588 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1134 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1056 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1112 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $249,693 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P3dersen | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | MzWw^ | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | wonderbai | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | Jakob K | 54% | 48 |
| #5 | #ZAP01 | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | brandt | 50% | 8 |
| #9 | sVaMpeh4t | 48% | 23 |
| #10 | ✪ $alcN | 45% | 11 |
| #11 | MgN0xX | 45% | 11 |
| #12 | orga- | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jakob K | 118 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | wonderbai | 98 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | sVaMpeh4t | 95 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | dr?smileyface:-} | 83 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | orga- | 83 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sVaMpeh4t | +3.38 | 80 | 77 |
| #2 | MgN0xX | +2.14 | 83 | 63 |
| #3 | TIKTOK_TEIS | +1.73 | 70 | 71 |
| #4 | Nymann | +1.29 | 83 | 58 |
| #5 | dr?smileyface:-} | +0.48 | 73 | 66 |





