








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 957 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 407 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,342 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3737 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5560 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4935 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4110 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,475,642 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .Dob` | 52% | 158 |
| #2 | Jay✨ | 51% | 142 |
| #3 | Kirby | 51% | 81 |
| #4 | .# Paettie ..|.. | 50% | 317 |
| #5 | Pse♿Ɑ͞ ̶ﻝ | 50% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | C H A R L I E L I E L I E L I E | 47% | 91 |
| #9 | begga11 | 47% | 32 |
| #10 | Blokk | 44% | 93 |
| #11 | .noname sn1tch | 44% | 39 |
| #12 | #bebe | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .# Paettie ..|.. | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Blokk | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | .Dob` | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Jay✨ | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | C H A R L I E L I E L I E L I E | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jay✨ | 377 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | .# Paettie ..|.. | 373 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #3 | .Dob` | 308 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | C H A R L I E L I E L I E L I E | 227 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Kirby | 129 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ңekĻaЯ | +2.03 | 73 | 71 |
| #2 | Pse♿Ɑ͞ ̶ﻝ | +1.80 | 85 | 61 |
| #3 | C H A R L I E L I E L I E L I E | +1.53 | 51 | 69 |
| #4 | .noname sn1tch | +0.40 | 63 | 66 |
| #5 | #bebe | +0.22 | 75 | 63 |





